How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
He tried to say "god bless your heart" to the stripper but it came out "god bless your pussy"
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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