69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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