it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
