last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
i dont even know how to be here
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
