so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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