Only a mothe r could love this liver
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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