Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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