My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
