My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Randomize
