32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
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