yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
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