I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Randomize
