I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
Randomize
