i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I think i peed on brittanys purse
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
Randomize
