apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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