scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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