haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Randomize
