I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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