I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Let the clothes fall where they may.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
