She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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