apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You've changed since you got that strap on
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
