I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
Randomize
