you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
