What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
That was just an endearing nickname I called you before. I'm not gonna call you a filthy slut now that you are one, I don't want to hurt your feelings.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
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