there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
