Walk of Shame. In a state park.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Randomize
