I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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