Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
