I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
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