Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
