Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
