Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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