Sponge bath it is.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize
