You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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