In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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