The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
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