okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
