Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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