yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Once I saw his penis, I knew I made the right choice
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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