I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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