Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
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