Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
I wish you could order shots online.
It's like a choose-your-own-adventure. But the adventure is already chosen for you. And it sucks.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
