i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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