That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
