Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Randomize
