Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
Randomize
