I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
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