So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Randomize
