your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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