Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
